• When We Choose Our Own Way, We Never Have Peace

    When Kamila chose to schedule an appointment she understood that CompassCare would not provide or refer her for an abortion like she wanted, but she came anyway. She decided it was time to follow through with an appointment, since she’d made and cancelled several abortion appointments with various agencies since discovering she was pregnant a couple weeks earlier.

    Kamila explained to her nurse that she felt overwhelmed by the prospect of being pregnant and did not want to continue because it conflicted with her plan for her life right now. “I want to travel and pursue a career – and I always imagined myself married before I had another baby.”  She confessed. Kamila also admitted that she was afraid to disappoint her mother or be judged by her friends for getting pregnant. She agreed to a routine ultrasound which revealed a growing seven week old baby. She sighed heavily when she heard the beating of her baby’s tiny heart.

    After the exam, Kamila’s nursed asked her how she felt about all that she saw. “Well,” she replied, “now I’m confused again.” “Why is that?” her nurse asked gently. “Because I saw it and heard the heartbeat…it’s real.” Kamila confided. She went on, “I really wanted to have this baby last week, but then I started thinking about how hard it would be to have to face other people’s opinion about it.” “Kamila, that sounds more like shame to me.” Her nurse remarked. Kamila’s eyes grew large exclaiming, “That’s exactly it! I am ashamed that I’m pregnant again.” Her nurse probed deeper, “Tell me, Kamila, why did you want to continue your pregnancy last week?” Her reply was revealing, “Because it’s my baby and he deserves a chance to live.” 

    She went on to ask her nurse, “Can you tell me, what does God think about abortion?” Her nurse reflecting the question back to her asked, “What do you think He thinks about it, Kamila?” Looking at the ultrasound screen, she replied, “I don’t know. I think He doesn’t like it…because that is His child.”

    Kamila’s final remark was, “I had peace about the pregnancy last week, but I lost it all.” Her nurse took the opportunity to share that true peace only comes by being in relationship with the Prince of Peace, and when we choose our own way, we never have peace. Kamila understood that she had wandered far from God and admitted she desired to be right with Him. After praying for forgiveness and help, Kamila stated that she knew she needed to pray more and wait on the Lord before making any decision about her pregnancy.  

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